This is a very interesting topic which funnily enough keeps coming up for me. I spent 20 years of my life ensuring I didn’t show my vulnerability. I was extremely uncomfortable sharing my emotions or letting anyone get too close to me. In my eyes I actually had good reason to be as I had experienced a great deal of loss as a child. I now know that I thought, “Well if I don’t get close to people then there is no chance of the people I love leaving me or dying”. Unfortunately that meant I was very closed, very introverted and unhappy and used food and excessive exercise to control my emotions instead.
Although it can hurt to be vulnerable, ultimately it can lead to love, joy and belonging as well. So if we don’t allow ourselves to show our vulnerability unfortunately we are closing ourselves off to the possibility of the actual joy of life.
It takes courage to open ourselves up and trust our feelings and beliefs with someone else. We fear we will be ridiculed or put down or rejected, however often this is only our perception. We are all worthy of love and joy however for some of us, experiences we have had in the past often lead to us believing that we aren’t. Why would you wear your heart on your sleeve when every time you do it ends in tears?
Funnily enough it is those tears that free us. Giving into the emotion, asking for help and giving to others ensures we feel fulfilled and have a purpose which ultimately brings happiness and joy.
Through my work I know that many people over eat instead of showing their vulnerability. Food is an easy escape, we don’t have to risk anything to eat. However it always ends in guilt, blame and shame which leads to more bingeing and on the cycle goes.
The wonderful thing about eating “naturally” is that it enables you be mindful. So as you’re about to inhale the bag of chips or family block of chocolate if you stop and ask yourself, “What is going on,?” you might find it relates to some sort of emotion that no amount of chocolate will fix.
When I was recovering from depression I was encouraged to sing. This enabled me to get the emotion out of my body instead of keeping it in with food. Trust me I will not be auditioning for X Factor anytime soon but it was so freeing. Since then I now cry if I need to or yell or even try to talk about what is going on for me. We don’t have to face these things on our own. We all have our own insecurities but it’s not weak to show them or express them. It enables you to be authentic and real and live in the now and not the past, creating a positive joyful future.
I am a wife and mother who has recovered from 20 years of food and weight related issues. I used to binge on food uncontrollably and then exercise excessively to get rid of it. After being diagnosed with depression and bulimia in 1996 I was introduced to Natural Eating and personal development.